soft air 08/29/22: you grow girl
08/29/22 :: you grow girl
welcome to soft air: a newsletter about making and paying attention
a new bi-weekly newsletter for connection and sharing my practice. shop updates, new patterns, class announcements and general studio news will continue to be shared here. issues will be archived on my site, in the journal.
in the studio
on this day i was a sunflower. it was humid. i stepped on a slug. i went to the town block party with my favorite people. i teared up listening to the family band, for how amazing it is to see the people you care about being their most selves. i went back home. i rested, with the veil between rest and grief growing ever thinner.
i find myself constantly burdened with the performance of womanhood, of inhabiting a body one might see drawn as a caricature, of feeling aware of myself at all times. i feel burdened by the societal conditioning that as a woman i need to make others comfortable with my existence, to make sense for them instead of making sense to myself. when did i learn this? how many micro millions of ways has it been reinforced for the 29 years and 5 weeks i’ve been alive? who am i, who do i really want to be underneath others' projections of the personhood i should aspire to? what will make me worthy in my own eyes?
i look for myself in the space between discrete identities. i make a green patchwork outfit and a sunflower crown. i step in front of my camera to discover who’s there.
in the mending pile
as part of my clothes-off-my-back quilt project i pulled 2 pairs of pants that didn't fit right to see if i could alter them back into my closet. i made both pairs this past spring, but they had fit issues from the start. the orange cotton pair and natural canvas pair were adjusted the same way; i cut away the inseam and inserted a piece of fabric between the front and back of the pants, sort of like a gusset. this quick fix gave me a higher rise and a bit more room in the seat of the pants. it also saved me from needing to buy more fabric and the time of making an entirely new pair of pants.
in the media
LOOKING: florine stettheimer- i had never heard of this artist before, yet kept crossing paths with her this summer, seeing pieces on display at the met, moma, and whitney.
READING: pretty baby by chirs belcher
WATCHING: 20th century women, shania twain: not just a girl
LISTENING: daddy lessons by beyoncé, and learning about the black history of country music (listen or watch her play with the chicks at the 2016 cmas), silver ladders
image (from top left): beyoncé, pretty baby by chris belcher, 20th century women, florine stettheimer. meme by @thefemmemoon
in the soft air
listening to ambient sounds from the middle of the lake, beach lunch, playing in the waves with K, U saying "hoonicorn", cooler nights, mending my favorite pajama pants, discovering my camera again, feeling the hot sun on my legs, dreaming of floating and flying and feeling lightness
happy birthday z
to going more places
doing more things
and
lots more making
like soft air? send it to a friend :)
interested in supporting soft air and my studio practice?
venmo @BaileyRaha or buy me a coffee